Money does grow on trees...

at least, that is what my kids think!

The Big Guy is actually pretty good with money management. In January, we decided to give him an allowance, and after figuring out that a weekly plan would not work for us (who ever has $1 bills in their wallet) we came up with a monthly payout. The first of each month, he gets his allowance and promptly organizes it into his Learning Cents Bank - 55% in spend, 30% in save and 15% in give.

For the money that he saves, we deposit it regularly into a bank account, and my husband and I match the savings 1:1. So, if he deposits $20, we deposit $20 into his account. Nice.

Same thing for the giving, although we have yet to actually give any money. This will be my next project, putting together some options that we can talk about as a family. High on the Big Guy's list now is his school library and Ronald MacDonald House.

Now, we also implemented an allowance plan for Little A at the same time, however, she is less quick to catch on to the plan. Although, after a recent trip to the Apple Store, she now has her heart set on a new iPod Nano, and seems to get that she needs to save her $199 to buy one.

Several times this year, we have caught her in her room with her bank, giving out money to whatever friend was over playing. As a result, we keep her bank in our room and bring it out on allowance day.

Both kids are allowed to buy what they would like with their spend money, but we do try to point out that they have many options. The Big Guy is currently obsessed with Pokemon, and spends most of his allowance on the trading cards - once he reaches 800 cards, I have told him that he cannot spend anymore money on Pokemon. He seems cool with that, and is already talking about saving up for something big.

Our goal in giving our kids money was to teach them how to manage it. When I was growing up, I did not have the same education, and money in my house was a bad thing, a scarce thing, a not-talked-about thing, and it was rare for me to have my own money and make my own decisions.

I would like my kids to understand the importance of saving and giving, and being able to make sound decisions about money. I want to encourage them to make smart choices when it comes to spending their money, and want them to think beyond the short term. Just like their mother, hah!

Thanks to superdumb supervillain for reminding me about the Parent Bloggers Network Blog Blast about money management and children, in conjunction with the financial literacy partnership between Consumer Action and Capital One, highlighting the new Moneywi$e eLearning Tool.

Two kinds of swim moms

IMHO, there are two kinds of swim moms. The first is aware, alert and focused on their child. They arrange themselves on the pool deck so they can see the race, making sure they are there to greet their child when they exit the water. They might take photos, they might not. They are probably wearing a shirt for their team, and have most definitely been a volunteer whenever asked.

These moms carry copys of the program, so they can help other parents find their way, and usually have a spare set of goggles in their pocket, for last minute emergencies. Between races, you can find this mom relaxing with her kids, making sure they snack on high-energy foods, and perhaps playing cards with her son. All in all, a great mom, devoted to her family and properly engaged in her child(ren)'s activities.

Then, there is Me. I do some of the things above, but mostly I like to jostle my way to the front of the crowd with my big 'ole camera, so I can snap 100 photos of Little A or the Big Guy's 25-yard race. Then, I stand there on the side lines and watch the whole race, yelling with my loudest voice for my kids to kick more, or use their big arms, or imploring them to just go faster. Sometimes, I stamp my feet. When the race finishes, I cheer some more, maybe with an arm pump, or if something really great happens, continue cheering so the whole swim desk knows what happens.

I am not necessarily proud of my behavior, but I am very proud of my kids and their swimming, and sometimes I just get so excited I cannot help myself. I am aware they cannot hear me when they swim (both kids have told me this), but still, I carry on. Sometimes I yell so much I have to sit down, all the blood rushing to my head. Maybe after they have done this for a couple years, I will back off and stop being so over-the-top.

On the other hand, maybe not.

Presenting Mr and Mrs GirdlePants

The Big Guy loves reading Captain Underpants and yesterday, with the help of the Fourth Epic Novel, Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants, we all discovered our silly names. From here forward, our family shall be known as:

Fluffy and Falafel Girdlepants, with their children Doofus and Stinky and dog Wafflechunks.

Now, I know their is controversy about Captain Underpants (read some of the stuff here and here). I know the language in the book is less than perfect, I also know the spelling is atrocious. However, The Big Guy loves these books. They engage him. He comes home from school, grabs a snack and reads for 30 minutes, all without me having to ask. He knows they are silly, we laughed about it all weekend on our long car trip.

Thanks to Dav Pilkey for putting together such a fun series of books! With your help, I think we have encouraged The Big Guy to be a reader for life.....

Wordless Wednesday: Green Cast

First cast, dislocated elbow, February 2008

Birthday party madness

Once again, I have worked myself into a tizzy about a kid birthday.

Little A's birthday is coming up in two weeks. She is oh so popular in her class (my dream undoubtedly), so I thought we should invite the whole class. Also, as room parent, I felt like being inclusive.

But then I realized she has other friends outside her class, and we were slowly creeping up to 25 kids. After last year's 5th birthday extravaganza, I vowed not to have that many kids again. So, I could invite just the girls, along with the extra girls she is friends with. But she has two good boy friends, and so that seemed strange. Plus, there are a couple girls in her class that she is just not friends with (no fault on anyone's part). But inviting all the boys in the class seemed silly, as she is friends with only the two.

I thought maybe I could send out the invitations in batches, to her good friends first and then the rest of the class a couple days later. As it was, I already waited until 12 days before the party to send the invites, cutting it pretty close. But that seemed lame, when all I wanted to do was limit the amount of kids at the party.

Just hours before I was set to send out the invitations, DH and I had a meeting in the park, while the kids were on the playground. I showed him the whole list, including all the kids who were outside the class. I *'d the kids who Little A has had play dates with, or had a friendship with. It worked out to be 11 kids. 11 kids is a nice number. Better than 25.

When we got home, we sat down with Little A and explained the situation. Our trump card was that with a reduced guest list, we would allow her to have gifts (with 25 kids, we were going to have a book exchange). She immediately agreed, even agreeing to the list of kids we had put together.

In any case, I should have taken my Dad's advice and just picked the guest list for her. At kindergarten, I think it is OK for parents to help select friends. By second grade, I believe the choice is the child's, unless bad decisions are being made...

What do you think?

Advent Calendars for everyone!

When I was a kid, we had an au pair for a year from Switzerland, and she made us the greatest advent calendars I have ever had. Each day was a different surprise and she made the whole thing by hand. Sadly, she had to return home to take care of her parents, so she was not around another year, but ever since then, I have loved advent calendars. This year is no exception, although for different reasons.

My kids are so motivated by opening the little doors that I can exert all sorts of control over them, which is an awesome thing to have in the morning as we struggle to get ourselves all sorted out and ready to go to school/work. Usually I have to keep reminding them, threatening them with timeouts, pushing, pushing, pushing until we finally get out the door. This morning, all I said was that everything had to be done before they opened their advent calendars - get dressed, eat breakfast, practice piano, brush teeth, wash face, brush hair, make bed, put on socks/shoes, feed the dog, and turn out the lights in their room. It is 8:15am and both kids are ready to go to school and we don't even have to leave for 15 minutes! This is going to be a great month!

Picture courtesy of Tim Bartel

Pie Making

Tonight, we decided to make 2 more pumpkin pies (we did not seem to get enough at Thanksgiving). In a rare turn of events, I found the patience to make them with the kids, even letting them help with the pie crusts. Little A demonstrates her pricking technique while the Big Guy shows what a good crimper he is.

The pies turned out well (with all this help, how could they be bad?!). In fact, we might even have breakfast pie tomorrow. Our kids are good pie eaters, for which my husband is happy and thankful. In his family, pumpkin pie slivering is an art that is passed down through the generations!

White Lies...Go Through My Lips

When is it ok to tell a white lie? And when is it ok to bring your kids in on the lie?

Today, while at Legoland, we discovered that one of the rides was for kids age 6-13. There was another corresponding ride for kids age 3-5, but when we looked at it, we knew our 5 year old could handle the ride for older kids and it would allow us to stay together as a family. So, we instructed our 5 year old to say that she was 6, so she could go on the ride for the bigger kids. As it turned out, I don't think we were the only ones to do that, as there were quite a few kids who looked younger than 6, but still, we felt slightly guilty. And, it is one thing to do this at an amusement park, but what about lying about your age for other things, like discounts or something school related. Everyone does it, but in an effort to teach my kids right from wrong, have I made it hard for them to understand?

In the scheme of things, probably not, but it does give my kids yet another thing to discuss with their therapist when they become adults and start processing all the ways we screwed them up as kids.....

Get the Lead Out: Safe Holiday Shopping

The first time I heard about the recall of toys from China that contained lead, I was a little concerned, but not so much that I did anything. Then another recall, and a little more concern, but then again, not much done. When the recalls started rolling in after that, I started tuning them out, it was too much.

Today, however, Parent Bloggers Network has asked me to think about what will happen this holiday season, when I start buying gifts for my kids and others. They would like me to actually think about it, not tune it out. And they have given me some resources to consider, including the League of Maternal Justice and the Consumers Union, publishers of Consumer Reports.

When faced with issues like this, my first instinct is to say that it is too big of a problem and surely there is nothing I can do about it. I initially felt that way about the environment and global warming, but then I saw An Inconvenient Truth and came up with some ways that I could actually make a difference. I also gave myself time to achieve those goals, rather than making it an assignment on my to-do list. It has become a lifestyle change.

Can I do that for this problem as well? How can I figure out what has lead in it? Do I ban all toys from China? Do I prohibit others from giving those things to my kids? How would I do that? How can I stay in my budget? How can I shop online (which I really like to do in December to make things easier), and be able to know where things are made? And on top of everything else that is already going on this season?

Let me break it down into what I can do:

1. Give books
They are great gifts and I don't think they have a lead issue (I will be pissed if that happens!)

2. Buy local
Figure out my budget and factor in shipping (I guess I would need to do that anyway) and start early. Hold things in my hands and see where they are made. Seek out local products. Now that I think about it, that should not be hard in the Bay Area, especially with all our wonderful gourmet foods. Scharffenberger Chocolate, here I come.

3. Consider not giving as much
This is a year-to-year goal which I have not been very successful implementing.

4. Go homemade
My friend Vero over at Little Elephants who took the Handmade Pledge, vowing to buy handmade and request that others do the same for her. This I might be able to accomplish, at least with certain friends. I have a zillion jars of jam and as you saw from my post last night, have mastered the art of making them look festive. Vero also had a link to Sew, Mama, Sew, with great ideas for a completely handmade holiday.

5. Sign up to be a Safe Shopper with Consumers Union
This is an interesting idea, although I am not sure how comfortable I am with confrontation. Frankly, I am more likely to just take my business elsewhere! I do applaud Consumers Union for using the power of pissed off parents to help bring this situation in front of people (like me!) who think there is nothing they can do to help.

Wow, I guess this is a little less bleak than I thought. I still want to buy my kids digital cameras, which will involve some research, but avoiding plastic painted things might be wise anyway. And there are some great local arts and crafts fairs coming up, so I have no doubt I will find places to spend my money.

Thanks for helping me work through this. Now, tell me what you plan to do about the issue of lead in toys this holiday season....

Little Shopping Carts

Our grocery store has those little shopping carts, for your little shoppers to "help" you. Unfortunately, they are exactly at the height of your Achilles tendon, and as we all know, kids are not the best drivers (hence the reason we don't give them drivers licenses until they are adults), and so exactly what you think might happen, did happen today while shopping. And naturally, being in front of my kids and in a public place, I could not let loose with a stream of words about how I was really feeling. I ended up saying "Ow", "Ow", "OOW", "OW", "that really HURTS!", "OW". That and a little limping was all I was allowed. Next time, no little carts.

Our Candy Buy-Back Program

For two years now, I have offered (well, actually, there is not much of an option) to buy my kid's Halloween candy at a rate of $.10 a piece. This year, my son started asking me about it early in October, so I knew I was in good. My daughter was not so sure, but I think our weekend shopping trip sealed the deal.

On Halloween night, both kids were very goal oriented, bringing home 300 pieces of candy, a cool $15 bucks each. Little A asked to have her $15 in $1 bills, The Big Guy wanted a $5 and a $10. The Bug Guy already knew what he wanted to buy - Pokemon Cards at Target. Yes, I know, but it is the lesser of two evils in this case. Little A was not so sure, but was excited to get her candy.

Sunday morning we found time to go to Target - The Big Guy made a beeline for the Pokemon cards, while Little A and I got stuck at the $1 bins. Low and behold, there was a bunch of Hello Kitty stuff in those bins, and Little A cleaned up. She found a little bag, gel pens, stationary set, stickers, notepad, and charm pen. In addition, she was able to buy princess lip gloss and a kitty notebook. The smile on her face was enormous and I think we will have no problem next year with the Candy Buy-Back Program!

Day 1: Intro to NaBloPoMo

I am not sure I am going to get this right - on various occasions, I have written NaBoPloMo, NaPloBoMo, NaMoPloBo....and I am not 100% positive what it is all about, except that I know I have pledged to write a blog post a day for the entire month of November. Fun, yah!

Yesterday was Halloween, and while I am opposed to so much candy and sugar, our family does have a great time. Our day started with getting the kids ready for school, with costumes on. School parade started at 9:30am, and following the parade, both kids had class parties. Little A's party was for the entire kindergarten, all 140 children, and was controlled chaos. The Big Guy's party was a much lower key affair, with healthy snacks requested by the teacher, and everyone sitting at their desks. I enjoyed being involved with their classes, something I had not done much before this year.

After the parties, I got a little work done and then picked up the kids from school. The Big Guy had a birthday party to go too (you have got to be kidding me, on Halloween!) and while he was busy, Little A and I decorated pumpkins. We did not have a ton of time, so we opted to paint our pumpkins, instead of carve them. That was fun. After picking up The Big Guy, we headed home for more pumpkin decorating, followed by quick dinner. In rapid succession, we finished dinner, DH came home, costumes were reassembled, wine was procured, friends were greeted and we were out the door to Trick or Treat.

This year, we invited several friends to join us, and at the peak, I think we had about 40 people (kids and adults) walking around our neighborhood. The kids were having a blast, the adults were enjoying the conversation and wine and a great time was had by all. Sounds like we might do the same thing again next year!

Ok, now I need to get started on my list of potential topics for the month, with a holiday and vacation thrown in there, I hope to find enough interesting things to write about....

Wordless Wednesday

Hamburger and Hotdog cupcakes from my son's 7th birthday party
July 2007

Environmental Awareness, One Water Bottle at a Time

In honor of Blog Action Day, I thought I would write about single serving drink containers. Last week, Jennifer over at Tree Hugging Family posted about using refillable soap dispensers. In my comment to the post, I also suggested that we avoid using single serving drink containers and buy in bulk. At our house we have purchased CamelBak plastic bottles and use them daily in backpacks for water. In their reusable lunch boxes from Laptop Lunches, the kids also have smaller bottles that we use for chocolate milk. When bring snack to soccer games, we try to remember to bring large containers of juice with cups to recyclable cups to pour into and avoid the juice boxes altogether.

Fortunately, recycling has been part of our lives since before the kids were born, and after seeing the movie Arctic Tale, the importance is much easier to explain, especially when Queen Latifah showed us how our choices will help their new favorite animal friends Seela, the walrus pup, and Nanu, the polar bear cub.

Get Boo'd

On Tuesday, we were Boo'd, sometime early in the morning by a very clever person. This is one of my favorite Halloween/October traditions - in the dark of night, or early morning hours, you go around to three houses in your neighborhood and leave them a bag of treats and a cute little note. All anonymous, and very fun.

Melissa Summers at AlphaMom put together a great piece on how she super-craftily decorated their bags, with additional links to more ideas.

Last year, I took this tradition to work, with some moderate success. This year, I suggested to my Dad that he Boo his friends at his retirement place. The whole thing is fun and in our family, makes Halloween last longer than a day.

Pulling my kids out of school to travel: Would you?

True confession time - when my son was first born, I made several vows:

• I will not allow my kids to use pacifiers.
• I will not allow my kids to leave the house with runny noses.
• I will not pull my kids out of school to travel.
  

and on, and on. Well, as it turns out, my husband does not feel the same way, and slowly, I am beginning to see the benefits of missing school to travel with our family. The Wall Street Journal Online posted an interesting piece about pulling your kids out of school to travel. I was especially intrigued with the comments about additional work for the teachers and some state's decisions to limit the amount of absences from school. And while I certainly would not advocate pulling them out all the time, I think we have done ok with our trips so far. Also, I think the decision is up to us, based on what we know about our children, how they are doing in school, and what the pros/cons will be for missing school. For example, we decided to leave a day early for our winter holiday trip in December. My son pointed out that he missed an all important, in-class viewing of "Polar Express". In January, we plan to pull both kids out of school for a trip to visit my great aunt, who will be turning 93. And in March, we will leave for spring break 2 days early, which will allow us to see the Louvre, the London Bridge and take the Eurostar through the Chunnel. So far, I am not worried about my kids in class educational experiences, as I think the experiences we will have together as a family, traveling to new places, will be education in itself.

What do you think? Would you take your kids out of school to travel? Why or why not?

Cross-posted at Kango

Wordless Wednesday: Water fountains

Water fountain in Southern California, August 2007

Romantic Wine Tasting: A family outing in San Luis Obispo

My husband and I both enjoy wine, and before the kids came along, we used to spend many a relaxing afternoon at wineries in the nearby Santa Cruz Mountains, picnicking and sipping class California wines. Along came the kids, and somehow this did not see practical anymore. We had new afternoon plans, which mostly involved naps, scheduled feedings and lots of play time. Wine tasting seemed like it was to go the way of our golf games....

Then, last summer, we realized we could bring it back, albeit with a slightly different twist. Driving north from Santa Barbara, lunch time hit us just as we were nearing Templeton, a wine-rich enclave south of Paso Robles. We knew from past research that Turley Wines, a long-time favorite which we often see at auction fundraisers, was located in Templeton and a quick call to the winery confirmed that they have a picnic area. A stop at the Trader Joes in Atascadero and we arrived at the winery ready to eat, figuring we could picnic with the kids while tasting wine on the side. And it turned out just that way - we nabbed a table outside and the women behind the wine counter were incredibly accommodating, allowing us to come in to get the next taste. The kids were accommodating too, eating lunch, playing around the picnic area and generally behaving themselves. Success!

While planning our southern California road trip this summer, we decided to spend a night in San Luis Obispo and taste wine in the nearby Edna Valley. Based on the success of last year's experiment, we decided to try for 3 wineries, with a lunch stop in the middle. After consulting the San Luis Obispo Vintners, we decided to stop at Claiborne & Churchill, Tangent Winery, and Tolosa Winery. We knew that Tangent had a picnic site, so we planned to eat lunch there. We began our day at Claiborne & Churchill and set our kids up on a table outside. To occupy the kids, we had brought a couple craft kits, which they jumped into, allowing us to taste the first of 5 wines they were pouring that morning. So far, so good, although the wind had picked up, making it a little hard to work on the craft projects and as a result, the kids were a little restless.

After leaving C&C, we stopped at the nearby Old Edna Townsite to load up on lunch items at the Fialas Deli, where they kindly made an off-menu PB&J for our kids and the husband and I selected from several of their pre-made sandwiches. It was a big weekend for the Townsite, as they were hosting a local honey tasting, as well as an animal rescue fair. The kids loved that, checking out the cats and dogs ready for adoption. We two parents had to be strong, otherwise, we were going to be coming home with a new fur-child!

Onto Tangent Winery, our planned lunch stop. The outdoor eating area was great, the kids were hungry and dived into lunch, while we began our wine tasting program. At the next table, two past-the-age-of-small-children couples unpacked a gorgeous picnic with local cheeses, breads, and fruit. In between bites of my sandwich, I looked longingly over to their organized, calm table. About half way into lunch (on about our second of five wines) the kids decided they were done with lunch and got up to run around. I tried to encourage them to come back and finish lunch, but they were ready to burn off their excess energy. While the husband and I tried to hurry through the wine tasting, I tried to come up with some games to keep the kids occupied (and ideally quiet!). Nothing was working and I was finding myself using my loud mommy voice, something that can be embarrassing in public and even more so at a winery. Sensing that this was not going to get any better, I encouraged the husband to finish the wines, and perhaps procure something in a bottle to-go for later. We packed up our picnic and our kids and got the heck out of dodge.

Sensing that another winery was not going to be appreciated by the kids, the husband and I regrouped and decided to abandon the next stop (sadly, as perhaps we had saved the best for last!). We high-tailed it to a park in downtown San Luis Obispo where the kids spent the next two hours sliding, swinging and climbing.

Strategy for next time: Leave the kids at home, or maybe just one winery and present it as a picnic opportunity to the kids!